I Know This Seems Silly...

There's a chance this is going to sound really ridiculous to you, but I have to tell you about a little Easter miracle we celebrated yesterday!

Peanut butter is like gold around here.  If you go to a local supermarket, you can generally find Peter Pan Peanut Butter, another brand I've never heard of and Jif.  The first two brands sell for about $7.50 for a tiny jar.  Jif, however, sells usually for about $4 for an 18 ounce jar.  You can often find it in creamy and crunchy.  For a while I would keep a couple of extra jars in our cupboards because every now and then a store would run out.

My family LOVES peanut butter.  Last term a team came down and each of them carried in one of those jumbo sized jars for our family.  (We didn't have the Jif option before.)  We honestly had enough peanut butter to last our whole term - and we had extra to share with other missionary families.

A few weeks ago we had run out of peanut butter.  I went to the store to get more and the shelves were empty of Jif, only the expensive jars remained.  I refuse to spend that much money on peanut butter, so I bought nothing.  Over the next several days when we would pass another supermarket we'd run in and check but it seemed that the peanut butter supplies had run out all over the city.

On Easter morning, Corey and I ran to the store to grab a couple of goodies to make Alex and Maggie Easter baskets (well, bowls...the lack of baskets is another story).  As we strolled the aisles we saw some other goodies that had been out for a while like Betty Crocker Chocolate Chip Cookie Mix and Muffin Mix - little extras that give us a taste of home every now and then.  Seeing the aisles restocked I said, "Corey, look, they've gotten in a new shipment - maybe there's peanut butter!"  I rushed to the peanut butter aisle and, sure enough, on the top shelf there were new jars of Jif Extra Crunchy Peanut Butter!!  The tag underneath gave the price at around $7.50, but when we realized that was the label for Peter Pan, I took off to find the price.  Turns out, the jars of Jif were about $2.50 each - cheaper than they had been before!  We grabbed all nine of the jars sitting on the shelf and headed for the checkout super excited that we would have peanut butter for a while to come.

When the cashier began to ring us up she gave us a funny look.  Peanut butter is not that common around here and the fact that we were buying nine jars probably looked a little strange.  I looked at the monitor that tells you what's been scanned and, to my great joy, we realized there was another discount on each jar so we were paying $2 each!

Again, I know this sounds ridiculous, but I had the biggest smile on my face in excitement for the kids to get home to show them that we had found peanut butter!  When they got off the plane, one of the first things Maggie said to me was, "You're not going to believe what I brought home!"  Turns out, at camp they had played a game with peanut butter and they let her bring home the leftover.  So when they got home and saw we had also found some...well, it was an exciting day!!

Psalms 37:4 says "Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart."  

You may not understand why peanut butter makes us happy, but God does.  He loves us so much that He knows how many hairs are on each of our heads and He understands how a jar of peanut butter can bring comfort to a homesick heart.  On this Easter, as we celebrated the resurrection, we were reminded just how much God loves us not only by the big things He has done, but in the details as well.

~Tona

The Non-Ministry Ministry Realization

We've picked up several ministry "hats" lately, of which we are super excited.  After nine months of what one pastor called our gestational period, we are finding ourselves truly defining and developing our roles in youth and children's ministry.  I celebrate these steps because a sense of purpose comes along with them - knowing where we stand and what our duties are. Everything is defined.  I know what I need to plan, who I need to talk to, what should be on my to-do list, etc.  These are the markings of effective ministries in the making...or so I thought.

This week, my eyes were opened to a different reality.  I had kept myself running under the idea that if I didn't have a defined job description, I wasn't being effective.  However, I realized we have been very active in ministry in a different way.  People have been watching us.  People have been watching how we communicate and interact as a family.  Last night, a lady we've recently met came to us and told us that she was encouraged by the unity we could bring to the group we were working with because she's seen how our family interacts and cares for one another.  I did not even know she was aware of our existence. I realized that although we hadn't been in an official position, we were already being observed and evaluated when we thought no one was looking at us.

In a separate setting, at the teen pregnancy center, Corey came with me one day to help since we had to go straight to another meeting afterwards.  Some of the girls peeked in and giggled about him being there, but this week as we sat chatting about life and family, they made comments about how sweet Corey was with the babies, how he was happy, relaxed and loving.  These girls who come from abandonment, drug addiction, abuse, prostitution, of which many have not had positive male role models in their lives, just a couple hours of seeing Corey interact with their babies left them impressed and asking me lots of questions about marriage and fathers.

People are watching, whether we're aware or not.  We were with a few church leaders the other day driving down the street when we passed two different cars going down the highway with other church members in them.  We laughed at how they didn't know their pastors were watching them and talked about how gossip can spark out of those kinds of observations.  We  wondered how many times people had seen us driving (and probably singing at the top of my lungs) when we were unaware.

I know this is a no-brainer.  We know we're supposed to be walking examples of Jesus Christ.  We often pray as a family for God to help us be a good example to everyone we meet, but I think it's easy to forget that in the middle of a rush, when you're tired and don't feel like dealing with people or when unexpected adversity creeps in.  People see us whether or not we realize it.  How we handle everything life throws our way speaks volumes of who we are and how much we truly believe what we say we believe.  Our lives - mine and yours - are examples and that role is probably our most effective ministry of all.

In everything set them an example by doing what is good. Titus 2:7

~Tona

Soccer Saturdays

In the fall of 2004 we were well into the process of "closing up" before we left the first time for the mission field.  I remember being excited about selling everything, packing up and even saying goodbyes.  Although it was tough, I was so excited about what was ahead that it overwhelmed the majority of sad or negative emotions.  One Saturday afternoon, however, a wave of panic hit me in the middle of one of Alex's soccer games.

I had identified very well with the whole "soccer mom" label.  I had the minivan with the soccer ball magnet on the back.  I was the team mom, made the flag, brought the snacks, planned my Saturdays around Alex and Maggie's games.  It was a role I had loved since Alex was four years old.  That late fall Saturday morning, I suddenly found myself overwhelmed with a need to cry.  I felt near hyperventilation and although giving up everything else had been pretty easy, all things considered, it suddenly felt impossible to let go of this one detail - soccer Saturdays.  I remember a conversation I had with one of our pastors who had been keeping tabs on our emotional stability through the process and through tears I blurted out "I don't think I can give up being a soccer mom!"  Ridiculous...I know.  I believe the true reality was that I was realizing that my culture was about to change in a huge way.  It was true, Saturdays would never be the same.  The minivan would be gone.  Many things about everyday life were about to change in a big way!  Relieving my soccer mom duties became the straw that broke the camels back and suddenly I felt very unsure about everything, but of course, we pushed on with our plans.

"The Burn" ~ the team where I realized life was about to turn upside down

Over the years, Alex and Maggie have still been able to be involved in soccer, mostly at schools where there wasn't a formal team, but they were still able to play with a group a couple times a week.  During our time to fund raise in the States they joined teams and we relished in a few months of "normalcy".  Other than that short season, we became preoccupied with ministry, traveling and a million other things, so soccer Saturdays moved to the realm of things we used to love doing together.

However this year, after a long hiatus, soccer Saturdays are back!  No, I'm not the team mom - they're teenagers and no longer need "team moms" and the team experience here looks nothing like what it did in the States - not that it's bad, just different, but a couple of weeks ago as I sat with a bunch of moms watching the kids play, I realized God had restored a joy in my heart that had left so long ago.

Then and Now
Alex's first soccer picture on the left and this season on the right.

  Although the whole soccer Saturday loss truly wasn't a devastating change in our lives, it felt like a giant warm hug to see God had restored something that was once so precious to me, even after I had stopped longing for it - and I love it!  I love watching my kids in action.  I love spending time getting to know parents and build relationships with people from all walks of life who share in the joy of watching their kids play - although I'm learning here I need to brush up on knowing all of the national and international teams and players.  Everyone is very passionate about soccer here!

Parents gather around a field to watch the boys play their match.

It gives me great peace to know God knows the depths of my heart and cares about even the little things - and that it's not just for me, but for my family and for you!  Have you ever let go of something that God later returned to you?

~Tona

Babies, Babies, Everywhere!

A little background...
When I was 12 years old I began volunteering at a local daycare center.  In ninth grade, the director hired me as an employee and I continued to work there until I left for college.  Those first few years, as a young teen, the center I worked at was far from "up to code".  Well before becoming a legal adult, I was given many responsibilities that went totally against state mandated requirements.  The first time I realized this was when the director came rushing in my room and pretended to be the teacher.  The more I learned, the more I realized this center did nothing according to code - child/teacher ratios, nutritious meals, the fact a teenager was given responsibility over entire classrooms of children, etc., etc.  Eventually, the center was bought by a company who literally tore down the existing center and started from scratch, making everything state-of-the-art and well within state mandates.  They trained me in what was appropriate and permissible as a daycare provider and I could recite forwards and backwards all of the state regulations, not because we were rushing to try to make them look like realities, but because we were expected to fulfill them on a daily basis.  The rules and expectations were drilled into my head.  Once my kids were toddlers, I worked at another center for a year before we moved on to missions work and was given an assistant director position along with a teaching position because I was so committed to "keeping to the code".  

It just so happens, I love babies!  
Wherever we go, my kids will spy the tiniest child, nudge me and say, "Hey, mom, I bet you want to hold that baby, huh?"  Which I generally respond to with giggles and "awws".  Besides my long history in daycare, I also carry with me a past and a testimony of giving birth at just 18 years old.  While to this day some people judge me for that experience, I know God has taken something that I did out of his will, changed me and used it to take me places I never could have imagined.  I believe that it's not something He wants me to sweep under the rug, but to use to bless others.  So for some time I have wanted to work with pregnant teens.  It hasn't just been a "wish" but one of those things that nags at your heart constantly until you do something about it.

Through a series of new introductions, I was introduced to a foundation that runs a home for pregnant teens.  I told them I'd love to help with whatever they needed, hoping that even if I could only sweep the floors, with time I'd be given an opportunity to help the expectant and new moms as well as the babies.  They asked from the start if I could help with the babies.  Maggie asked if she could help, too, so this week we ventured off for our first days of diaper duty.

What I saw that first day stunned me.  
The nursery is one room.  It had four or five bouncy seats or infant car seats sitting around the floors - all of them dirty and broken.  There was one crib with no side rails and two playpens, one full of toys and just, well, stuff.  There were toys scattered on the floor, but not those that you would see in a typical infant/toddler room.  Barbie doll arms, legs, tiny blocks, tons of itty bitty pieces.  Those old state regulations flew through my mind like a ticker - choking hazards EVERYWHERE!  The room was dirty, unorganized and completely inappropriate for babies and toddlers, mostly ranging from a couple of months to 2 years old.

Maggie and I entered the room, thinking we'd be helping out a staff member or two with taking care of the babies.  Turns out, we were the only staff.  We were suddenly alone in a room with five babies. We didn't know their names, their schedules, their personalities.  There were no diapers, no bottles, no food, no rocking chairs - or any chairs, for that matter.

A quick panic swept over me.  Back in my daycare days, every child had a portfolio.  I'd write down when they ate, slept, were changed, cried for long periods of time - basically every move they made.  But here, I didn't even know their names.  Looking around at what we had just gotten ourselves into, I thought, "I  handled similar situations when I was 12.  We can do this."  And we got to work, juggling babies and, as more came in, asking their names whenever someone passed by.  By the end of our short three hour shift, we had cared for 10 babies and we were exhausted!

That was Tuesday.  On Thursday, we asked Alex to come with us.  I'm so glad he did!  When we arrived, one of the foundation teachers asked if I would take over watching some of the babies in the pool.  It was no big deal to them that my two teenagers be left in a room with a bunch of babies while I went to monitor four others in a wading pool.  At least I could see Alex and Maggie from the pool area.  After getting the babies dressed in dry clothes, I joined Alex and Maggie in the nursery and we spent the new few hours caring for them.  At one point we had 12 babies, but at least there were three of us.

For a short time, the foundation teacher came in.  I asked him, "Do you have other volunteers that come when we're not here?"  He said, "No."  I asked, "What do you do?"  He said, "I take care of them."  I asked, "How???"  He said, "With lots and lots of patience."  Life is so different here in Latin America.

We found silly tricks to get the kids to stop crying.  By the end of our shift we had all but one of them sleeping - victory!  Again, we left exhausted.  They say, "be careful what you ask for, you just might get it."  That is how I feel about taking care of these babies.  It's exactly what I wanted to do, although I never considered how far from my ideas reality would be, but I think there are great things ahead as we bond with the babies and with the moms.  I can already see Alex and Maggie learning so much about taking care of others and adapting in difficult situations.  I'm sure you'll be hearing many more stories from our baby adventures!

~Tona

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Happy New Year!!  We kicked off this year with a giant bang!  There were fireworks going off all over the city for hours and hours.  We finally went to bed at 4am and they were still going!  We enjoyed a nice New Year's Eve at a fellow missionary's house and left so content.  We met two other missionary families here in the city, one who has been here for over 20 years and one who just arrived three months ago.  It was a joy to my heart to see more kids close to Alex and Maggie in age, as I've been praying for more friends here in the city for them.  It was also exciting to talk about our heart for Medellín and realize God was using a New Year's Eve party to help us make connections in ministry.  We literally spent hours connecting with fellow missionaries who have created a solid foundation in ministry and talking about how we could work together to reach the youth and train youth leaders.  I expect exciting collaborations ahead!

I think this is the most talked about new year since Y2K.  "Will 2012 be our last?  Will Jesus come back this year?  Will the economy totally collapse this year?"  I hear a lot of negative, fearful talk about 2012.  I've got to say, I am so excited for this year!  If Jesus comes back, there could be nothing more awesome, but if he doesn't this year and the economy collapses or things go horrifically bad or incredibly good - I am excited about this year!  Whatever is in store, we know it's not a surprise to God.  He knows exactly how each and every day will go, who will cross our paths, who we need to impact.  This year I will listen more, act more, obey more.  I am giddy at the prospect of how many people in this city have yet to know they have a heavenly father who loves them.  I can't wait to share how awesome God is with hurting people everywhere and show them love the way that Jesus loves me.

While I don't live in fear, I live knowing that big challenges may come our way this year and I am determined from today, this first day of 2012, to live each and every day to its fullest, as if it were my last. I don't want to find myself at the end of things saying, "Oh, I guess I should have done more."  This year is going to be awesome!

We're praying for you!  May this year be blessed and amazing and may God use you in unexpected ways!
~Tona

Recapping the End of 2011

We've had a lot going on these last few months.  Here's a glimpse of what we've been up to...

In October we visited a drug rehab center.  The site as it sits now has a rough dorm house and small overhangs outside that serve as the dining hall.  Corey is working with the pastor who is in charge of the oversight of the rehab center as well as an American evangelist to begin improving the grounds.  Step one is to build a recreation field/court so that there is somewhere for a physical outlet for the men (and teen boys) to work out as they go through the difficult detox process.  They're working on further plans for better dorms, kitchen and workshops that will hopefully one day make this a very comfortable place to leave drugs behind and find God.

In October we also celebrated Maggie's 14th birthday and our "Colombian sons" came to visit and celebrate with her!  Juan David and Jonathan have been dear to us for many years now and we have kept in contact while we were stateside.  They are so special to us and Maggie's only birthday wish was to have her "brothers" with her, so they brought an overnight bus to Medellin and spent a few days with us while their classes were suspended due to protests.  We're very proud of these boys.  Juan David has been teaching kids in Bogotá how to play in a worship band and is in the process of releasing a kids' praise worship album with them.  He is studying to be an orchestra conductor.  Jonathan is in school studying to be a psychologist and is also working in the children's ministries at the church in Bogotá.

At the end of October, we helped fellow missionaries with a visiting team from Iowa. This was a week of "Supernatural School".  They taught pastors about the Holy Spirit, preached all over the city and ended with a city-wide rally.  So many miracles happened in the services.  One girl came forward with a special brace over her teeth.  She told us that her teeth never fully grew or rooted, so they were always at risk of falling out.  She couldn't eat an apple and many other foods threatened to cause her teeth to crumble. She described her situation as having floating teeth.  We prayed over her and God did something incredible.  After we prayed, she removed her brace and tried to wiggle her teeth.  They were firmly planted in her mouth!  We saw her a few days later and she was so joyful because she said God had strengthened her teeth!  That same day Corey  prayed with a man who was wearing hearing aids. Even with the hearing aids, he couldn't hear what Corey was saying.  They prayed and as Corey finished praying, the man took out his hearing aids and said he could fully hear!  He never replaced them and went around the church having normal conversations without any problems!  There were so many stories of healing during the visit from this team and the emphasis on the supernatural from the Holy Spirit.  It was truly a blessing to have them here in Colombia.

In November, Corey and Alex traveled to the countryside to help film a short video for the Bible School.  They had quite an adventure on location and quite a journey trying to find their way home!  The man in this picture is the first Assemblies of God pastor in the state of Antioquia.  He has planted and harvested so many souls for the Kingdom.  

The end of November kicked off the Christmas season here in Medellín. We've found they really like to celebrate Christmas around here!  One of the important staples of the season is the food and buñuelos and natilla are a very important part of that tradition.  Buñuelos are a ball of fried dough with a white cheese inside.  This happens to be one of Alex's very favorite foods!  Natilla is kind of like a cross between flan and pudding.  It comes in a few flavors, but carmel flavored with cinnamon sprinkled on top seems to be the favorite at least among our friends.  Friends in our small group taught me how to make the natilla.

The beginning of December brought our Regional Directors, Dick and Cynthia Nicholson, to visit.  They came to do a two day marriage seminar for pastors and church leaders. It was a beautiful weekend filled with information for pastors to go back and counsel their congregations as well as help improve their own marriages.  There was a beautiful elegant, romantic dinner on the roof terrace of the hotel with music and laughter at the end of the first night.

In December we held an outreach and concert at one of the local parks.  It was a night of bands, a theater group and preaching.  The first night it downpoured, but 26 people gave their hearts to Christ.  The second night was clear and more made a decision for Christ.  We took packets of cookies attached to information about God and the local church to the streets, passing them out as people walked by.  The park is in a popular location for youth and young adults to hang out.  There were few walking around without beer bottles in hand.  We saw many getting high and drunk on the outskirts of the park.  This was the first time this local church had done such an outreach, but the people were excited to see what an impact it could make and I expect to see many more in the future!

We've been inviting several people to our house who are learning English and need somewhere to practice.  We hosted a Christmas party with our friends and enjoyed a night of fellowship playing games to help them use their English!  It's been a fun group that continues to grow.  When the large part of the group went home, some stayed behind to play Wii for the first time!  

On Christmas Day we celebrated together in the morning. In the evening, we ventured out to see one of  Medellín's most proud accomplishments.  Medellín was selected as one of the top 10 Christmas light displays in the world!  All over the city there are big light displays and along the river that runs through the city stands the main attraction...a long expanse of lights over and next to the river.  It was really very beautiful to see and an exciting night as people were out, various street artists were performing and everyone celebrated Christmas day!

So I think that brings us mostly up to date.  One of my resolutions for 2012 will be to blog more and keep you more up to date on what's been happening here in Colombia.  We're expecting great things in this upcoming year!

Blessings,

Tona

Winding Down 2011

My greatest apologies to those who do read this blog.  With the addition of Facebook groups, it's been so easy to post a photo album or quick update in a few seconds and neglect really writing things out here on the blog.  My last goal of 2011 will be to update this week a few key things that have happened over the last months.  You can always pop over to our group page ~ (http://www.facebook.com/groups/KautzFamily) ~ to get the fast food version of what's been going on.

Every new year people all over the US make resolutions for the upcoming year.  I have for many years been opposed to making resolutions because I never expect to accomplish them, but as 2011 comes to a close and 2012 is before us, I find myself wanting to really evaluate where I am, what I've done and where I want to go.

Corey and I have been having conversations with a friend about 2012 and all of the end of the world predictions, collapse of the economy, doomsday, etc.  The question was asked "What would you do differently if you knew that 2012 really is the last year for us on the earth?"  Our answer, "Hopefully nothing.  We try to live every day like we would want to live our last."  But the more I've thought about it, of course, there are things I would change, improve, areas I want to grow, characteristics I want to decrease, disciplines to increase.

In years past, at the last second when people ask, "What are your resolutions this year?"  I would think quickly, throw a few random things out and never really reflect on them again.  This year, I'm working on getting a head start.  Should 2012 be our last or 2013, 2020...whenever, I want to be living to the fullest.  I want to be as pleasing as possible to God.  I want to know that I have done everything possible to share Christ's love with those who do not know Him or who have rejected Him because of "Christians" who have forgotten to show love.  I want to be at peace that I have taught my children well about a true relationship with Christ.  There are many more, so this week I will take lots of time to pray and seek, ask God to show me the parts of me I might not even realize are out of line and begin to write my goals, my desires and the steps I can take to become the person God wants me to be.

2011 has been an interesting year, but not without disappointment and frustration with myself.  Here's to making 2012 one to be proud of, one to make my heavenly father pleased and proud!

What are your goals for 2012?

~Tona